Suffering produces perseverance perseverance, character and character, hope, says Paul in Romans 5:3-5. not pain that you can prevent physically, but pain that you can't necessarily prevent emotionally. It's OK to let your child experience pain. As we read in James 1:12, 'A man who endures trials is blessed because when he passes the test he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him.' That's a much more durable crown than any we figuratively place on our heads anyway. If every time your son forgets his lunch, you take him a McDonald's meal, or every time she loses her North Face jacket, you buy her a new one, entitlement will wedge its way into your home. In our parenting seminars, we challenge parents not to rescue their children. It helps them understand themselves - their God-given limitations and gifts - and can be a fantastic starter to a real, honest conversation. In our book Intentional Parenting, my co-authors and I suggest doing a strengths assessment with your children by having them outline areas in which they feel strong and areas where they'd like to improve. But I sure love what a great big sister you are.' Or, 'You may not be the best math student, but you're outstanding in science.' Speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) can include statements like, 'It's OK that you're not the best basketball player out there. But there's a difference between encouraging them and over-inflating them. As a counselor, I believe it's important to encourage your children. There's been much press about the 'every child gets a trophy' phenomenon across the country. Long gone are the lectures about walking to school - uphill - both ways - in the snow. The media is rampant with kids who seem to have unstoppable resources and attitudes. So what's the genesis of this issue of entitlement? Why do our children constantly want more, whether it's more treats at the grocery or more attention than parents can possibly give? We don't have to look far to find the answer. They couldn't wait patiently, sans devices, in a 30-minute line at Disney World, of all places. I once saw two teenagers in a line at Disney World checking Facebook on their iPads. Children growing up today are constantly entertained, overly stimulated, and often completely satisfied. We live in a culture saturated with things. One could guess that the numbers have grown exponentially since then.

In 2007, 22 percent of children aged 6 to 9 had their own cellphones. Today, some elementary school students have iPads as a part of their curriculum. When many in my generation were growing up, we saved our money to help our parents buy our bicycles. It wouldn't take long to see the chains of entitlement in any school in the United States. And, though she may be extreme in her sense of entitlement, the problem is growing in leaps and bounds in children of all ages - even those being raised by well-meaning Christian parents. Entitlement can be defined in the same way. She thought entirely too much of herself and too little of others. 'That's exactly what you do.' Her entitlement was undoubtedly about material things, but it reached beyond her wants to her character.

'Yes,' I responded with all of the patience I could muster. But what am I supposed to do? Walk up to her and say, ‘Hi, I know you're new. I don't know if she has any friends yet or not. She went on to talk about a new girl at her school and how the teachers asked a few of the students to reach out to her.

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